


Violet Daydream

by Kinvallatas



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-09-30 06:04:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20441924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinvallatas/pseuds/Kinvallatas
Summary: Every soul in the world is born with a tiny piece of itself missing, a fragment of someone else buried in its place. That tiny piece lies within another, and they call to each other. They say that you can never settle unless you've found your soulmate, part of you always restless, always uneasy without the peace of the soul.Some people go to extreme lengths to find theirs. Some do the exact opposite, fighting a fate they've never known. And sometimes, the universe intervenes for them, working in the strangest of ways.Siyeon just never thought it would happen to her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This initially came to me as a collection of shippy Suayeon moments while working on other pieces, but the idea took hold and very, very quickly got out of hand. Inspired to some degree by vanpora's 'Purple'.

The first time it happens is when they go to Gahyeon’s graduation. Siyeon picks up a bouquet of flowers for her on the way, and she swears that something in them must be affecting her because her chest feels oddly tight. “Do I have a flower allergy?” she mutters, glaring accusingly at the bouquet after she starts coughing to relieve the pressure.

She knows she isn’t sick; she was _fine_ earlier.

“If you did, you would always be coughing when you stand next to me,” Bora jokes, and Siyeon makes a finger heart at her. Minji shakes her head at them, trying and failing to stop herself from giggling. “Save the flirting for later, you two. It’ll be something for the VLive,” she says, and the other members join in the laughter as Siyeon sneezes.

It doesn’t happen there. 

It happens later, after they’ve made it to the school. By then, Siyeon is feeling much better, the tightness in her chest having steadily subsided as they walked. They move through the corridors to find Gahyeon's classroom, and she catches Yoohyeon and Yoobin smiling at Handong as the girl looks around curiously. It’s her first time in a Korean school, apparently, and Siyeon briefly wonders how different Handong's school actually was from their own. She’ll have to ask someday. They peek into an open door, see a familiar face and file in as Gahyeon waves at them cheerfully from her seat.

While they wait for her name to be called, Siyeon remembers the VLive, and starts quietly telling the story to the camera they've set up. 

“Earlier, I bought these flowers for Gahyeon, and I started coughing on the way here. So I was like: “Do I have a flower allergy?”, and SuA said: “If you did, you would always be coughing when you’re next to me.” Sweet of her, don't you think?” Bora has been watching the entire time, and they snicker at the memory even as Bora flushes and tries to cover her head.

“I’m embarrassed,” she whines, a light blush decorating her cheeks as she attempts to bury her face in Siyeon’s coat. Siyeon allows it, pulling the other girl close and grinning at the looks she gets from Yoobin and Handong.

“Giving other people colds,” she jokes softly, and Bora pouts. “You’re not coughing now,” she returns, and Siyeon is about to retort when she feels that strange tightness for a second and coughs. Something hits the back of her throat, and she makes a surprised sound before Bora starts laughing.

After a moment, Siyeon starts laughing too. 

This is Gahyeon’s day, and she’s hardly going to let an odd cough interrupt it. They join her for pictures before she goes up on stage, and each of them give their congratulations as the camera moves round. Everyone is unfailingly cheerful and supportive in their own way, and she’s feeling a little mischievous today. So when the camera gets to her, she says “That’s enough for you,” and giggles alongside the others as they sign off. An unexpected cough shakes her again, and she feels that strange tickle in the back of her throat. Something comes free when she coughs, and she hides the object in her palm as the others turn to her in concern.

“Allergies,” she claims, and they believe her without further explanation.

It’s not until late in the night, after they’re home and everyone’s in bed, that Siyeon feels safe enough to get up and goes to the bathroom. That’s when she turns on the light and inspects the object closely.

That’s when Siyeon blanches. 

Because what she’s holding is a small, delicate petal, deep purple in colour and notched at the tips. _It’s from the bouquet_, she thinks, telling herself that she must have breathed it in by accident, but she doesn’t believe her own words. Siyeon doesn’t know much about flowers, but she knows the distinctive look of these ones, even if she’s sure they aren’t meant to be purple. 

And she knows there were no sakura flowers in that bouquet.

* * *

Hanahaki. 

She knows of the disease, of course. Everyone does. No one knows how you catch it or how it comes about, but the vast majority of people believe it's the universe's way of hurrying you along. Siyeon has never sought her soulmate out actively; maybe that's why the universe is after her. For now, it's stayed in the background for the most part; just a petal from time to time to remind her that it’s there, and it’s not going away until she finds her soulmate.

_Or until she dies_, her brain thinks insidiously, but Siyeon shrugs the thought away. At least she wasn’t coughing up blood yet.

Admittedly, it did bother her that she didn’t know exactly who it was. There were rumours that the flowers the disease made you cough up roughly hinted at your soulmate’s identity, but that didn’t make things much easier for her. There were a lot of people who could fit that. She’s never heard of a Hanahaki sufferer who didn’t know who their other half was, and with their schedule ramping up, chances were that she’d be far too busy to look.

It’s ironic, then, that she finds out who her soulmate is during a promotional event with the others.

They’re at Fact iN Star for the third time, having fun as always while they promote their upcoming concerts, and the hosts have just brought out buckets of fried chicken for them to share. Her mouth waters at the sight; lunch had been a rushed affair that day, and she was hungry. From the looks of things, the others were too, and she and Bora tuck in with enthusiasm while the others debate which pieces to take. Not long after that, MC Jun declares that they won’t just be relaxing; the fans have sent in requests for what they want Dreamcatcher to play.

“487 people voted for this game,” he says, and everyone looks towards him. “Pepero Game!”

“For us?” Minji says disbelievingly, and they quickly dissolve into chaos. “Put down the chicken and stop eating,” Gahyeon calls, while Yoohyeon backs away declaring “I don’t want to do it with SuA!” 

Bora poses playfully at that, and the host moves them along. Gahyeon and Handong become the first couple, and Yoobin declares herself judge. Siyeon locks eyes with Bora as she realises they both have chicken legs in hand, and they dissolve into fits of giggles as the group pairs them off. 

Gahyeon and Handong are adorably shy about the affair, to no one’s surprise, and leave a considerable length of the Pepero stick behind. “Wow, that’s still seriously big!” Bora exclaims. “We got this Siyeon—ah!”

She grins in return as Gahyeon elbows Bora, and when Yoobin measures their stick and declares it to be 2.6cm long, they all gather to watch Minji and Yoohyeon.

Minji immediately bites down on the stick, and they break away laughing as Careless Whisper plays teasingly in the background. They’re significantly bolder when they do try for real, and the room dissolves into screams and laughter as everyone, herself included, declares “Touch, touch!” when the pair draw close, and Gahyeon claims she saw lips meet as Minji gleefully hands over the small stub of Pepero.

Their stick is 1.2cm long, and then it’s her turn. “Honey, come here,” Bora says playfully, and Siyeon catches the competitive light in her eyes as she moves forward. Both of them can smell chicken on the other’s breath, and they pull away laughing before placing the Pepero stick in their mouths. They both close in quickly, eagerly, and she feels Bora’s hand on the back of her head as they lean in and—

Their lips meet, and Siyeon’s brain stops as Bora’s teeth bite and tug at her bottom lip. They fall away in giggling fits, surprised at their own daring as the room erupts; she’s vaguely aware of the other members’ screams and reactions, just conscious enough to remember to hold their stick out for measurement. The measurement’s more of a formality than anything; they barely have enough left to be called a stub. 

Her throat itches, her mouth suddenly dry, and when she tries to swallow, Siyeon tastes petals in the back of her throat. She stumbles away towards the staircase, hoping to get a moment, but Bora chases her and links their arms. “Where are you going?” Jun asks, and Siyeon swallows hurriedly in an attempt to compose herself. “I’ve got something to tell you,” she announces, a hand covering her mouth in case anything escapes. “SuA bit my lip!”

Once again, the room turns to squeals and laughter, and Siyeon gratefully takes the moment to pull herself together and surreptitiously hide the petals that have chosen the worst time to appear.

She tosses and turns that night, tangling her sheets in a futile attempt to relax.

Kim Bora is her soulmate. But that doesn’t make sense. She should have caught Hanahaki long before now if that was truly the case. Siyeon has known the girl most of her life; they were close back in the days of MINX, even if she has mixed memories of that time, and they’ve only grown closer over the years between then and now. 

She remembers long days of practice, meals and outings and nights spent talking, playing, laughing. Commiserating over their hiatus together. Celebrating when the limbo was over.

_A soulmate isn’t something you choose_, she thinks faintly. She knows a soulbond takes time to build-there are never child soulmates, after all, but she’s never heard of someone taking this long to form one. It can’t be her. It can’t be. 

Although…she’s not against the idea. Bora has always been special to her, and—

Siyeon squashes the rebellious thought before it can go any further and makes a final attempt to relax. If she doesn’t manage now then she won’t sleep at all, and she’ll have to get through the entirety of tomorrow’s practice on whatever moments she can steal away. She pulls the covers over her head, cocooning herself in a world of blankets and darkness, and lets the heat lull her into a fitful sleep.

* * *

It takes months for Siyeon to collect herself after that, their kiss looming large in her mind. She’s caught herself running her tongue across her bottom lip more than once, though she’s been lucky enough to be alone whenever it’s happened.

_Keep it hidden._ She can’t let the others know, they’d freak. She’s got time to work this out. Siyeon has never been a particularly good liar, but this is a secret she can’t afford to give up. Thankfully, the others are distracted by something else; the new way Bora and she interact in the mornings.

Bora’s taken to greeting her with “Honey~” when they run into each other, and Siyeon visits the girl's room every day to use the full-length mirror they have. She never manages to fight off the blush it causes, and the other girls tease her to no end when they all meet up for meals. 

As much as Siyeon likes this, it’s starting to become a problem. She's been distracted once or twice during practice lately, and while Minji hasn't scolded her for it, it doesn't stop her feeling guilty over the incidents. She needs to be able to not think about Bora, and she makes plans on how to do that even as her heart twinges in pain at the thought.

The only thing that seems to squash it for some time is work, so over the next few weeks, Siyeon throws herself into their practice. She looks at their plans and the dates for their next performance, their newest songs, and she loses herself in them. She memorises the lyrics until she can recite them in her sleep_(and apparently she does, according to Minji)._ She sings her heart out until her voice can’t hold the notes anymore, and she dances the routines, practicing them over and over until her feet blister and the movements are ingrained into her mind.

Bora gives her an earful for the last one, and she’s on the receiving end of a talk from all six of the others that night. Siyeon accepts it meekly, because she knows she’s pushing herself too hard. But at the same time, it’s worked for her; she can think again without replaying the kiss in every moment.

She’s still coughing, though, the purple petals she has to hide serving as an ever-present reminder. Thankfully, the others take her cough as an illness from overworking, and she’s confined to the house for the remainder of the month on strict orders to rest.

They do a VLive about a week after she’s healed. They’ve practiced so much Siyeon feels confident they could perform in their sleep, and Bora has finally finished scolding her for overworking herself, though she's not out of the woods yet. About half an hour before the VLive’s due to start, Siyeon finds herself pulled aside by the smaller girl.

“Singnie, can we talk for a second?” 

Bora’s voice is uncharacteristically serious, and Siyeon nods as she lets herself be led to a corner of the practice room. “Is something wrong, Bora? Something you need me to do? Last-minute preparations for the dance? A move to work on?”

The questions rush out of her unbidden, and Bora chuckles and shakes her head. “Nothing like that, Singnie. Well, technically the opposite of that. Just remember to take it easy, okay? I know you're still coughing, and while you’re a lot better than you were last week, you’re not completely off the hook.”

Siyeon nods. “I’m a lot better now, I promise. I won’t do that again.”

“Good. You worried all of us, you know. Especially me.” There’s a soft, fond look on the smaller girl's face, but it quickly changes into her familiar smirk. “No more overlong hours, okay? Not unless we all agree to it. Or I’ll tie you to the bed,” she grins, waggling her finger at Siyeon.

She feels her face heat up, and the blush has barely faded from her cheeks by the time the VLive starts. Despite her worries, she relaxes steadily over the course of the stream. Sure, Yoobin has to pull her in at the start, but she jokes and messes around and dances to the tune of various songs with Minji. She’s missed this, being able to play around with the others to her heart’s content, and she silently reaffirms her promise to never overwork herself like that again.

Even if a small part of her brain wants to try it and find out if Bora will make good on her threat.

She sees Bora gesture for her out of the corner of her eye, and she realises she’s been staring into space for a while. She makes her way over, and Bora pulls her closer to the group as Gahyeon repositions the camera. When Minji calls Yoobin a ‘successful deokhu’, Siyeon cups a hand under Gahyeon’s chin and makes a pouty face at the camera.

Then Bora leans over and kisses her on the cheek, and Siyeon’s brain comes to a screeching, flaming halt. This isn’t the first time they’ve kissed. She’s lost count of how many times the girl has pulled similar antics with her and the rest of the group, the Pepero incident being the latest in a long line of them. They’re on camera, yes, but there’s no expectations on them now. They’re just…being themselves, she supposes, and that means Bora has done this entirely out of her own desire.

She’s dimly aware of the fact that she’s covered her mouth and cupped a hand to the kiss, and she squeals in the next moment as Bora’s hands tickle at her side. One hand slips under her hoodie, brushing against her stomach, while the other drops lower, lower, and squeezes her butt firmly.

Siyeon pulls away with a squeak before the girl can go further, the familiar feeling of petals gathering in her throat. Yoobin, Gahyeon and Handong briefly look her way, but they’re all familiar with Bora’s antics by now and go back to their affairs before long. It gives Siyeon just enough time to cough and compose herself, hiding the petals away in the deep pockets of her hoodie.

Bora’s grinning at her when she looks back, and Siyeon playfully jabs her in the ribs as she rejoins the group. She’s even daring enough to lick Bora’s hand when the girl cups her chin, and she smiles at the squeal it gets out of her. The older girl’s hands wrap around her again, and Siyeon tenses as they drop to her waist. But Bora doesn’t go further than that, content to just pull herself close and lean into her side.

She’s in noticeably high spirits for the rest of the day, and pulls open the VLive again as she slips into bed. It’s then, she thinks, watching those small moments, that she accepts the idea fully. Kim Bora is her soulmate, and Siyeon wouldn’t have it any other way. She just has to hope that Bora feels the same.

* * *

With the exception of a few promotional things, they’ve wrapped up for the week, so Siyeon’s enjoying a lazy day in. Minji and Yoobin have gone out to visit friends, so she’s alone in the room, half-awake and haphazardly draped in blankets. 

She can be a morning person when the occasion demands it, but she likes to sleep in when she can. A light cough shakes her, and she frowns as a few purple petals scatter across her covers. Her Hanahaki has been like that lately. A little worse than before, but not as bad as it could be. She’s heard the disease can take people within a week if they’re unlucky, and she's approaching her second month now.

Her phone pings, and she shakes the dark thoughts away as she checks the notification. 

It’s VLive, and Siyeon has to think for a second before it comes to her. They were supposed to do a VLive at some point for the fans, but she hadn’t thought it was today. She curses softly and is about to hurriedly get dressed before she notices the unread message from Minji.

_“Siyeon, you’ll probably see this as you’re waking up,”_ it begins, and she can’t help but huff. She’s more of a night owl, that’s for sure, but she’s proven she can get up early. She’s woken Minji before when the girl’s decided to sleep through her alarm.

_“Don’t pout at me! I know you slept late, and it’s been a tiring week for everyone.” _Siyeon sighs.Minji’s always been perceptive, and they have years of history together on top of that. _“The VLive wasn’t officially scheduled, but Bora, Handong and Gahyeon didn’t have much planned for today, so they’ve gone ahead with it. Relax!”_

She slumps in relief. She’ll have to find a way to repay them later. Maybe treat them to something nice, although convincing Bora to let her cook would be a struggle. She's not bad in the kitchen, but Bora loves it, and she knows the girl spends some of her free time searching for new recipes to try.  Siyeon shrugs.  She’ll figure something out. For now, her schedule is free again, and she may as well support them while they’re live.

It doesn't take her long to make herself comfortable again, and Siyeon nestles into her covers as she opens VLive on her tablet. Bora, Handong and Gahyeon come into view as the video buffers, and she sees them sitting in front of the camera, answering questions from the fans.

Bora looks at her tablet for a second, and her face brightens. “Ah, Pepero! We enjoyed the Pepero which fans gave us as a gift!”

Despite herself, Siyeon flushes lightly. She still hasn’t been able to forget that moment, the memory taking center stage in her dreams. She can’t get the kiss out of her head either, though she can push it aside when she needs to. She's retained that much, at least.

“But now I can only think of one thing with Pepero. I can only think of the Pepero game with Siyeon. That video was really funny. Now, before I fall asleep, when I’m bored, I watch that video again.”

And as it turns out, Bora can’t either. Siyeon blinks as her brain processes the words, and almost misses it when Handong giggles in embarrassment and Gahyeon comments on how much Pepero they had left. 

“After I watch that video, I want to play the Pepero game,” Bora continues. “Who do you want to play with?” Handong asks. 

“You can play with the wall by yourself like this.” Gahyeon mimes the scene with her hands, and Siyeon grins as Bora gives the maknae a look. Gahyeon had been incredibly shy when she first started, but her savage side was coming out more and more these days. It is one of many reasons for her to be proud of the girl.

“So I just put the Pepero on the wall and go for it like this?” Bora says, demonstrating the movement, and Gahyeon nods approvingly. “Very nice.”

“Pathetic,” Handong coughs, and the younger two break down laughing at the look on Bora’s face.

“Unnie, I am so done with them,” she whines, dropping her head as the two only laugh harder. 

Siyeon laughs too, and feels the tightness in her chest ease slightly. Slowly but surely, she’s starting to believe that Bora might just love her back.

* * *

Bora’s always been a very outgoing person, eager to express herself with gestures and hugs and songs. None of them are uncomfortable in the spotlight, of course, but Bora’s likely the most open member of the group; Siyeon’s not exactly averse to sharing her life, but she still likes the silence and solitude of an empty room at times.

She can’t imagine the smaller girl doing the same, and her suspicions are confirmed when they have their interview with KPOP Channel TV. 

“If you were stranded on an island and could only bring three things with you, what would you bring?” she reads, and she mulls the question over. There are a lot of things that come to mind; her games, her parents, her many connections to the world, but she remembers soft lips and brilliant smiles and moments shared, and knows she’d never survive without her.

“First, I’d bring SuA-unnie,” she says, and the girls immediately turn to her with varying expressions of mirth. “She is an object,” Siyeon says in response to Yoohyeon’s question. “Just put SuA in your pocket,” she jokes, disguising her cough as a laugh. “SuA and the phone and the computer. I have to play games so I have to bring my computer. Otherwise, just having SuA means that all problems will be resolved.”

Bora grins at her, and Siyeon feels her heart flutter as she continues. “Yes, she’ll catch fish for us and cook and make fire. We’ll live on the island happily.”

The first thing Bora chooses to bring with her are the members of Dreamcatcher, and Siyeon smiles alongside the other girls. She loves them, she really does, and she knows the feeling is mutual, but voicing it always feels nice. 

In the end, Bora’s island ends up being very much unlike an island at all, and Minji jokes that she just wants to make the island Dreamcatcher’s world. Siyeon laughs and jokes alongside them, and the daily presence in her throat seems to recede a little more.

* * *

Opening night sneaks up on them, time seeming to fly by, but they're ready. They've been practicing for ages and ages, and it pays off.

When the time comes, the performance goes off without a hitch, and the memories of the crowds and the cheering keeps them grinning for days. Siyeon doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of it. The exhilaration, the rush, the sheer joy she gets out of it…this is the place for her, right alongside Minji, Bora, Yoobin, Yoohyeon, Handong and Gahyeon. 

The seven of them are Dreamcatcher, and she can’t imagine life without them. Not anymore.

To their collective delight, the song does well; it doesn’t blow up, but it’s far from a disappointment. Not long after that, they’re invited to an interview on Arirang Radio, and all of them are in high spirits. Siyeon doesn’t realise just how high her own are until the host turns to her and asks: “Who do you think fit the concept the most?” 

She says SuA without a second thought, realises she's blurted the statement without thinking, and quickly continues as expectant looks fall on her. “For me, since a long time ago, SuA-unnie is…SuA-unnie’s body is so hot,” she says. “When you look at it, it’s like ‘Oh Wow’, especially with the right outfit.” 

Minji’s laughter is only a second behind Bora’s squeal, and the latter averts her gaze bashfully and starts fanning herself as Siyeon winks at her. Everyone else laughs too, having tried and failed to repress snickers while she was talking, and Siyeon waits for everyone to compose themselves before she continues.

“For me, I think it’s really beautiful. The outfit is kind of tight this time, so if you see from the back…” She’s probably spent an unhealthy amount of time watching Bora during practice, her eyes glued to the way the outfit hugs her curves. “I’m like ‘Yes, as expected!’ and then I have to run before SuA starts chasing me,” she says, hoping her blush isn’t too evident.

Everyone cracks up again, and there’s a light blush staining Bora’s cheeks. “Just date me already,” she laughs, jabbing the little pointer towards her, and Siyeon smiles. 

_One day, hopefully,_ she thinks, making a finger heart at her and watching Bora’s blush deepen.

* * *

Siyeon’s confidence builds steadily over the following months, even as she berates herself for not just coming out and saying it. She’s ready, she thinks. She wants Bora to know, but every time she tries to say it, the words stick in her throat. She’s not _scared_, per se; she just wants to be sure, and it’s this strange uncertainty that holds the words back whenever she tries to say them. She’s dared the unknown more than once in life, she wouldn’t be here now if she didn’t. 

But this time, she wants to be sure. This time, things are different.

She’s taken to watching their VLives lately, enjoying the closeness it brings her and the many precious moments she’ll never forget with the others. She’ll settle herself comfortably, lie back and tune out from the world as she listens; she’s fallen asleep like that more than once.

But it’s tonight when she goes on and finds a new VLive, one she hadn’t been there for. From the looks of it, most of the others had been out as well. Curiosity has always been one of her stronger tendencies, and Siyeon makes herself comfortable and snuggles into her covers as she taps the video.

Gahyeon, Handong and Bora seem to be sketching something while chatting, and Siyeon smiles as she watches the girls and starts to drift off. She’s almost asleep when a word catches her attention, and she inches an eye open as Bora starts telling a story.

“Yoohyeon…she had covered herself with the blanket. We had a long day that time, so she must have been tired. She was sleeping. But…I really wanted to see Yoohyeon before I slept. So I put my hand on her blankets and moved them a bit to see her face. When I did that, Yoohyeon woke up a bit and turned like this-” she gestured, “and I wanted to kiss her.”

Her eyes snap open, and Siyeon’s heart skips a beat as she refocuses her attention on the video. 

“I really wanted to kiss her after seeing her face,” Bora continues. “I sleep on the bed below, and Yoohyeon sleeps in the upper bed, so I climbed up and started to kiss her.” 

“Was she really sleeping?” Handong questions, and Siyeon feels her heart ache slightly. “She was,” Bora replies, “but I kissed her and she woke up and was like ‘Ah, stop it!’ And then she said‘Ah….I get stressed because of SuA-unnie!’ and pushed me.”

Siyeon continues watching, doing her best to calm the sudden pain in her chest as Bora describes the aftermath of the encounter. She’s nearly managed it when Bora starts talking again. “But Yoohyeon was really cute…I need to kiss her or I can’t sleep,” she sighs. “I won’t bother her when she’s asleep anymore. If she’s awake, then I will bother her.”

Her throat has been tight the entire time, but now it feels like she’s choking, and she quickly throws the covers aside and locks herself in the bathroom. The petals have been absent for weeks, have been ever since she started to believe Bora could love her back, but when she coughs, her throat fills with them, and she vomits a mouthful of petals into the toilet.

She can feel the tears pricking at her eyes, and does what she can to stifle the noise with the remnants of her self-control; she doesn’t want the others to know, doesn’t want to worry them like this. She can solve this, she can fix this. She doesn’t want to die.

Besides, she knows Bora. She knows how playful Bora naturally is, and how that wild streak extends a mile and more in front of the camera. She knows it’s a moment the fans will speculate for days over. It’s good publicity, and while Siyeon knows Dreamcatcher is far more successful than MINX ever was, she knows they’re still a small name in the industry.

She knows that displays like this help to draw new fans in, and she understands. But the fear of rejection has been with her since the day she learned that Bora was her soulmate, and this has only caused it to rear its ugly head.

_It’s just for the cameras,_ she tells herself, scratching idly at the back of her hand. _It’s just for the cameras. _

But she knows Bora, knows the girl isn’t the type to lie, and Siyeon leans over the basin as a fresh wave of petals comes.

Some of them are stained red.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping secrets has never been her strong suit, and time is not on her side.

Bora does this with all of them, she knows, and Siyeon does her best to remind herself of that fact as the days pass. One instance doesn’t break the mould completely. 

But she knows who Bora plays with most often, who the girl spends most of her time with, and while she’s certainly up there, Yoohyeon and Minji rank higher on that list. Every now and then, Bora mentions Yoohyeon’s lips, and Siyeon feels her chest tighten slightly every time it happens. Lately, Bora’s been a lot more physical with them as well. She’s used to the odd grab and attempts at tickling here and there, but when Bora manages to sneak up on her and squeeze her butt, Siyeon squeals in surprise.

Each of the other members fall prey to her in the coming days. None of them react with any more dignity than she did, and Bora laughs at each and every one of their reactions. Siyeon suspects that it only gives her more reason to continue, because she keeps doing it. Bora always manages to sneak up on her from time to time, and Siyeon’s not sure how she doesn’t see it coming.

Then again, she rather enjoys it. That probably doesn’t help.

It’s not until their next VLive that she realises just how routine of a thing it’s become. She’s playing a game on her phone, laughing alongside Yoobin and Yoohyeon as Bora and Minji play for the camera. “Big brother, big brother! Yoghurt, cheers!” Bora says in a cutesy voice, waving around a bottle of Yakult, and Minji laughs her head off.

“Yah, you rascal!” she says jokingly, pulling Bora closer and ruffling her hair as the other girl squirms. “Ah, if I had a brother like this, it would have been nice,” Minji laughs, and then she gets a devilish look on her face. “Actually, SuA has been touching my butt a lot lately.”

Siyeon ignores the flare of pain that springs to life in her chest and focuses intently on the game in her hands as she sees Bora make the familiar gesture.

“Do you know how she does it?” Minji continues. “All of a sudden, she’s like ‘Ah, Ah, Ah! Must touch JiU’s butt at least once a day!’ Honestly!” she says, shaking her head. “Ah…but this isn’t quite right. I can’t quite express how she does it.” 

She moves closer to Bora. “Please show them how you do it,” she asks, and the smaller girl slaps her shoulder playfully as she laughs and backs up a bit.

Despite herself, Siyeon looks up. Bora’s entire posture droops, head down and arms low at her side. “Ah, my energy is dropping…” she sighs. Her gaze lights up as it falls on Minji, and she suddenly dashes over to the girl. “I have to touch JiU’s butt at least once a day,” she gasps dramatically, squeezing the older girl’s butt.

Siyeon laughs for the camera, and it feels like she’s gargling glass. “Ah, that’s scary!” she says, ignoring the little voice in her head that wishes she was in Minji's place.

Bora’s grinning ear to ear as she meets her gaze, and Siyeon sees the mischief behind those eyes. “But what’s interesting is how the members all have different reactions whenever I touch their butt like this,” she says, making the claw-like gesture she always uses for it. 

Gahyeon’s composure slips. “What do you mean touching like this!?” she laughs, and both she and Siyeon mimic the gesture pointedly. 

Bora ignores them in favor of continuing her story. “For JiU, when she gets touched by me like this, she’s like ‘Ah…I told you not to do it here…Do it when it’s just the two of us in a more secretive place!’ JiU-unnie is shy,” she pouts.

Siyeon feels something crack inside of her, a wound that’s raw and deep and painful, and she feelsthe pressure start to build in her chest. 

_Not now,_ she thinks desperately. _Not when the world can see. _

So she hits Bora’s shoulder playfully and says “That’s even weirder!”, doing her best not to tense when the smaller girl smiles and takes her hand. 

“What?! No, it’s not like that,” Minji protests, pulling Bora away. “Everyone was watching us from the back! The people behind us will only be looking at our backs, so if SuA stands next to me and touches me like this, wouldn’t it be weird?” 

She grabs Bora’s butt to prove her point and receives an answering squeeze in return. Even though it hurts to do so, Siyeon can’t help but laugh at their antics. 

“Ah, I can’t watch this,” Yoohyeon cringes, and Bora enthusiastically continues. “For Dongie, when I touch her, she freezes for a moment and then makes this sound….” She wraps her arms around herself and goes “Wha?” in a shocked tone, and the display sends a round of chuckles through the group as Handong recreates the look.

“For Gahyeonie, she just sighs. The type to surrender.” Gahyeon sighs pointedly as Bora moves on and starts demonstrating the way that Yoobin shies away from her.

“Avoiding,” Siyeon quips, and Yoohyeon turns her face away from the camera as the older girl rounds on her. “For Yoohyeon…pass,” she says, and the girl gives her a curious look as Bora turns to Siyeon. “Siyeonie has fun together with me,” she smiles, and Siyeon laughs as she moves closer. 

The laugh quickly turns into a squeal as Bora squeezes her butt. “Siyeonie enjoys it,” she says, squeezing again for good measure before turning back to Yoohyeon. “Lastly, Yoohyeon. Yoohyeonie is really…amazing.” The girl immediately protests. “What do you mean, amazing?” she asks, Minji fanning the flames by asking “Why, why?”

Bora looks embarrassed. “Just…amazing,” she says weakly, trying to end the conversation, and Yoohyeon frowns. “The grip feeling is amazing?” Handong asks curiously, and Bora nods. “Yes.” She shoots a thumbs-up at the camera, and then she pauses. “Ah, cancel that, cancel the feeling being amazing. I like JiU’s butt the best,” she says, grabbing it again as Minji gives her a look.

Siyeon does her best to ignore it, but she’s inevitably distracted by the commotion behind her; apparently Handong has snuck around and pinched her butt when no one was looking, and the indignant shout of “Pervert!” from Yoohyeon makes Bora launch into a story about how far the girl goes to avoid her. “She pushes me away really forcefully, and once, she broke through the wall escaping from me.”

Her brain pauses for a second. “What?” she asks, even as Yoohyeon protests “Ah! Since when?”

“Isn’t there a hole like this in our dorm?” Gahyeon chimes in, striking the classic 'running through walls' pose, and they all laugh at the look on Yoohyeon’s face.

“Up till now, this has been the Masan Gangster speaking,” Bora says. Siyeon frowns. “Aren’t you the Masan Undertaker?” she asks, and Bora laughs. “Shepherdess. Not gangster, but shepherdess,” she says, and turns the camera off with a wink.

Siyeon slips away from the group after that, claiming she's left something in the office. The nearest bathroom is a ways, and she half-runs, half-stumbles towards it, a pained grimace on her face. She’s barely inside when the pressure in her chest peaks and she breaks into a fit, hacking up matted petals with each painful cough. Eventually, it dies down, and she slumps over the bin as she draws in deep, shuddering breaths.

“Siyeon?” someone calls, and she recognises Minji’s voice instantly. “Are you in here?”

“Yes!” she calls back hurriedly. “I’ll be out in a second!” She collects herself, washing her hands and wiping away the small trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. Minji is waiting for her outside, a worried expression on her face. “Are you okay?” she asks. 

Siyeon nods. “Fine,” she says. “Just tired.” 

The older girl doesn’t look convinced. “Are you sure? Because I heard you coughing in there, and you look kind of pale.”

She’s about to protest when her chest tightens warningly, throat swelling with the build-up of pressure. She can’t stop the hacking cough that follows, and both she and Minji stare at the purple petals that fall into her hands.

Minji looks horrified, and when she speaks, her voice is low and choked. “Siyeon….that’s..”

“I know,” she replies quietly. “I know.”

“How long—”

“Not here, Minji,” she pleads. “I promise I’ll tell you everything, but not here. Somewhere safe.”

The older girl looks like she wants to argue, but she sighs. “Fine. We’ll talk back at the house. The others said they were going shopping in Gangnam, so they won’t be back for a while.”

Siyeon supposes it’s the best she can ask for, and she says nothing when Minji drives a little too fast and holds the steering wheel with a death grip on the way home. Once they’re back, Minji locks the front door and ushers her into their bedroom. “Okay,” she says, sitting down on the floor. “Talk to me, Siyeon. How long?”

Siyeon winces. “Almost a year,” she admits, and Minji’s face goes from horror to anger to somewhere in-between. “That long? And you haven’t told anyone? Siyeon, I…why didn’t you say anything?”

The older girl looks heartbroken, and Siyeon feels her long-repressed guilt coming to the fore. “It wasn’t that bad before now,” she says quietly, her gaze fixed on the floor. “I didn’t want to worry anyone. I thought I could solve it on my own.”

“You might be Dreamcatcher’s wolf, but that doesn’t mean you tackle everything on your own, Siyeon,” Minji scolds, and Siyeon flushes in embarrassment. She’s never thought of it like that before, but Minji has a point. She’s used to straying a bit from the pack, used to doing things alone when she needs to. In that regard, she is more like her nickname than she realises.

_But she doesn’t need to go it alone this time,_ her brain reminds her, and she winces again. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, knowing the words mean little. Minji sighs. “Does anyone else know?”

Siyeon shakes her head, and then Minji asks the question she’s been dreading. “Who is it?”

She’s been hiding it for so long that the thought alone almost makes her baulk. But at the same time, she’s been building up the confidence to confess herself, and isn’t this a good way to test her nerve? 

In the end, it’s not much of a choice. If she can’t tell Minji, then how can she expect to tell Bora?

“Bora,” she admits, and she feels the weight in her stomach lessen. It feels good to finally tell somebody. Minji nods expectantly. “I thought so.” 

Siyeon blinks. “You thought so?”

Minji snorts. “You’re not a very good liar, Siyeon,” she says fondly. “You’ve seemed a bit off lately. Always going off on your own, always hiding from the group after work, the late nights in the bathroom. At first I thought you might be sneaking off to meet someone—” 

Siyeon gags so hard that the petals actually recede somewhat, and the older girl chuckles. “—but it was pretty obvious that you weren’t before long. Then I wondered whether you might like someone in the group, and everyone knows how close you and Bora are. So why haven’t you told her?”

“I wanted to be sure,” she says quietly. “I tried flirting, and she seemed to like that, so I was building up the confidence to tell her. But Bora’s so close to everyone, and she talks about you and Yoohyeon a lot. I…” 

Siyeon sighs. She knows why she can’t. “She’s not just the person I love. She’s my best friend, Minji. She means so much to me. I’m scared to ruin what we have because I could lose her completely. And dealing with this is better than that.”

Minji has been listening patiently, her face twitching with the urge to speak, but now she’s giving her a steady look. “Promise me you’ll tell her someday, Siyeon.”

She hesitates. “I…” 

Minji shakes her. “Promise me,” she repeats, and the hard edge in her voice tells Siyeon that it’s the leader in her speaking.

“I…” Siyeon growls as the words stick in her throat, the petals threatening to surge upwards. Why can’t she say it? She was so ready before, she had everything planned out. What's changed? 

“Promise me, Siyeon,” Minji says, steel in her eyes. “If you can’t promise me you’ll tell her, then take the surgery.”

_ Not that. Never that.  _

“I promise,” she says numbly, the thought of surgery finally jerking the words from her mouth. “But I won’t have that surgery, Minji. No matter what.”

“Why?” Minji asks, and Siyeon has to think for a second. There are a lot of reasons why she won’t.

She's seen the Heartless Ones before, and she knows that taking the surgery would change everything. Some lose the ability to feel at all, while others just lose the ability to love. But they all seem…duller, somehow. More subdued. If she took the surgery, she wouldn’t be Siyeon anymore.

But at the end of it all, there’s only one thing she can say. 

“I love her. I love her so much it hurts, and I always will, even if she doesn’t feel the same. Giving it all up would be impossible as it is, but even if I did, I’d still have to work with her every day, knowing I used to love her, knowing I could never love her again.”

_Death would be kinder,_ she thinks, and she thinks Minji knows too, because the older girl is staring at her with a pitying look.

“Oh, Siyeon,” she says softly, and reaches towards her. Siyeon lets the hug happen, lets Minji’s arms wrap around her and pull her close, and she draws what comfort she can from it as she buries her head in Minji’s shoulder.

Neither of them notice the soft footsteps that pause outside the room, or the sound of the front door being opened and slammed with just a little too much force.

* * *

She talks to Minji a lot in the coming days. She tells her everything, all the uncertainty and the fear and how she’s handled it in the last year. Minji listens to all of it, and offers her advice from time to time. 

The one thing that they disagree on, however, is Siyeon’s fear that Bora doesn’t love her back.

Siyeon remembers the first time she told her. Minji had stared at her for a second before a snort escaped her mouth, and Siyeon had been so offended that she’d almost walked out the door there and then. Only Minji’s begging had convinced her to stay.

The memory is burned into her mind.

_“Wait, Siyeon, wait!” Minji says hastily, panic replacing the laughter in a heartbeat. Siyeon stops in the doorway. “Let me explain. Please.”_

_Siyeon sighs deeply, but she steps back in and closes the door. Her throat is particularly bad today, so she settles for leaning against the wall and giving Minji the most irritated look she can muster._

_“I’m sorry, Siyeon. I genuinely thought you were joking there.” She raises an eyebrow at that. “You see, I think you're the only one who feels that way in the group. Everyone else knows how close you are. Everyone. Yes, Bora’s very playful. Yes, she likes to flirt, and yes, she does play around with all of us to some degree. But she never smiles more than when she’s with you. You’ll see.”_

Siyeon wants to believe her, she really does. But Bora’s been oddly distant lately. To the world she’s fine, but off-camera, they can tell something’s wrong. She’s a little less…Bora, really. And none of them can figure out why. There are no more kisses, no more touches, nothing more overt for her than what Bora gives to any of the other members of Dreamcatcher.

Even that is starting to subside now, and with every day that goes by like that, Siyeon feels her hopes die a little more inside.

Minji doesn’t know what to make of it, but there’s not much time to think. They’ll be debuting their newest album before long, and there’s a lot to do for all of them. Minji takes her aside before everything starts and quietly asks if she’ll be okay; they can put this on hold if they need to. But Siyeon knows what would happen if she doesn’t, knows that stopping here would blow her secret wide open, and she cares about Dreamcatcher every bit as much as Minji does. 

So she shakes her head and assures Minji she’ll be fine, even though they both know her time is running dangerously low. She’s had Hanahaki for a year and a half now; neither of them know of anyone who’s survived such a thing, and they know she can’t have too long left.

It takes them months to get through everything. Months until they’re performance-ready, and even then they can’t stop. There’s promotion to do, and when Minji announces that they have an interview with Idol League, their usual enthusiasm isn’t there. They clean up well enough, but their exhaustion is plain to see for anyone looking closely. Everyone looks to be in various states of wakefulness, and each of them have marks that attest to how hard they’ve been pushing themselves.

Minji has dark bags beneath her eyes that took nearly fifteen minutes for the girl to cover before she left, and in a way, she looks the most drained of them all. Yoohyeon moves gingerly, a testament to her strained muscles, and Handong and Gahyeon look to be fighting off sleep.

Then there are the things that aren’t so easy to hide. Yoobin injured her fingers during practice, and the bandaids she wears are still in place. Bora’s legs are dotted with bruises. Each tells the story of long nights of practice, of endless attempts getting the moves just right, and of collapsing from exhaustion when her legs can’t handle the strain anymore. 

Alongside Siyeon, she keeps the longest hours of the group; Siyeon’s helped her up more than once, and while Bora still isn’t all there, still isn’t quite the fun-loving prankster they know, Siyeon’s noticed her slowly returning to normal.

Siyeon’s own mark is both invisible and glaringly apparent to anyone who goes looking for it. Her throat, already weak from the Hanahaki, has been worn hoarse by the long hours of practice, hours where she sings her heart out until they call for a stop. Her voice is little more than a whisper right now, and the petals she’s coughed up as of late have been tinged with more blood than normal.

The host seems to pick up on their exhaustion, and he’s careful with what he asks and what he has them do. Siyeon is grateful for that, so even though she dodges a few questions, she answers what ones she can, and when they’re asked to show off parts of the dance, she manages to push herself through without error. Handong is not so lucky, the girl’s exhaustion getting to her in the final step of the dance.

She slips, and after the host helps her up with a concerned “Are you okay?”, she covers her face and slinks back to her seat while the rest of them work to reassure her. He seems to be keen to avoid anything too physical after that, and the next question he asks is one that she isn’t expecting.

“So, I heard a shocking story lately. Apparently there is a hip hunter among Dreamcatcher, and I’m kind of curious; who is it?”

Handong’s eye twitches with amusement, a small smirk returning to her face, and Bora laughs as everyone turns to her. “It’s SuA,” he announces quickly, and the grin that spreads across Bora’s face is the most real one they’ve seen from her in a long time. Yoohyeon makes a token attempt to stop her as she makes her trademark gesture towards the cameras, but all of them are laughing; it’s good to see her like this again.

“Why do you covet their hips?” he asks. 

“Every member feels different,” Bora says, and then she breaks down laughing at the reaction that gets from the crowds. “Don’t get me wrong, guys; this happens because all the members are close,” the host says to the cameras, and the statement makes everyone else laugh too. Siyeon can’t help but wish it was more, though, and she hopes her laugh doesn’t sound bitter.

“Of the members, who would you rate as your top three to touch?”

“Yoohyeon is first,” Bora answers immediately, and Siyeon ignores the pain in her heart at the statement. “Yoohyeon stands still, so I touch her a lot.” She makes her gesture again, and it cracks Gahyeon up. “Don’t keep doing that!” she laughs, and Bora does it once more so they can hear the maknae laugh again. They’ve all missed that as well.

Siyeon reaches over to take Bora’s hands, rubbing them gently and adjusting the cuffs of her long shirt. Bora doesn’t try to stop her, and Siyeon feels her relax the slightest bit as she rubs soothing circles into the girl’s hands.

“Second is JiU.” The crowd claps and congratulates her, and Minji almost hits her head on the desk with how hard she laughs. “Third place is Siyeon,” Bora says, and Siyeon does her best to smile as the crowd congratulates her. She’d expected this. She’s gotten used to the familiar sting. 

But it still hurts, and she feels her chest tighten slightly as it happens. The host continues on, unaware of her struggle. “Yoohyeon, you were number one on SuA’s list; tell me what you think.”

“First of all, even when I tell her not to, she keeps touching me, and I hate that,” Yoohyeon says dryly, but there is no heat behind the words. Bora offers her a sheepish grin, and Yoohyeon sighs dramatically. “But I guess she thinks I have attractive hips, and that's not going to change, so she’ll keep going after me.”

Pain spikes through Siyeon’s chest. It feels like a dozen thorn-sharp needles have pierced her heart, and she grits her teeth as she fights to keep her composure. Keeping her Hanahaki in check for the remainder of the interview is one of the hardest things she’s ever done, and Siyeon’s not quite sure how she manages it.

Finally, mercifully, it finishes, and Siyeon almost runs from the set as she feels something surge in her throat. Only after she’s found one and locked herself away does she let go, and the fit that shakes her is the worst one yet, leaving her trembling and shaking in its aftermath.

She stares at the mess, and her heart skips a beat. There’s an uncomfortable amount of blood there, yes, but that’s not what gives her pause. It’s the almost-whole flower sitting there that stops her. Siyeon’s done her homework, and she knows what that means. The progression of the disease can be tracked by the size of what the afflicted coughs up. If the roots take the heart completely, that’s it.

Her time’s almost up.

Siyeon feels strangely numb about it. By now, she has made her peace with the idea, no matter how much the thought of leaving everyone behind hurts. 

Minji is waiting for her when she does finally leave, though, and she disagrees. The fight they have once Siyeon tells her is the worst they’ve ever had, and she doesn’t remember ever seeing Minji so angry. But it’s an anger born of love and worry and helplessness, intense and fiery and short, and Minji has never been able to stay angry for long.

Still, her rant lasts for a good twenty minutes before she can’t find the words to continue and starts crying into Siyeon’s shoulder. By the time they get home, the other members are in the middle of dinner. Minji elects to skip it, not trusting herself to stay composed in front of the others, and Siyeon offers her leader a small smile as the older girl excuses herself.

Wordlessly, Bora hands her a bowl, and Siyeon wonders why the girl looks so sad as she starts to tuck in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head.

Months pass, and Siyeon slowly starts to withdraw from the group as she makes preparations for the end. She makes a simple will, naming her parents and the other members as her beneficiaries. She finds out the lyrics for their next songs from Minji, and she practices them in secret until she can sing her parts perfectly.

She records them, checks the tapes twice, and slips them into a box beneath her bed. She doesn’t expect to live until the release of their next album, and this way, she might be able to do something useful for Dreamcatcher. Maybe it’ll blow up, make them as big as they’ve dreamed of. 

In a way, songs are like paintings; they’re worth more when the artist is dead.

Minji would have scolded her for such fatalistic thoughts if she knew about them, but Siyeon hasn’t told her about this; she knows the girl would never approve. She writes letters, too. She writes one for every member of Dreamcatcher, explaining everything to them, personalising them, apologising.

Saying goodbye.

She debates for the longest time over whether to call her parents. They deserve to know, after all. They shouldn’t have to hear it from anyone else. But she can never bring herself to dial the number. Part of her worries that they’ll try to make her take the surgery, and Siyeon will never do that willingly. Never. The other part worries that they might try something desperate.

In the end, she writes a letter for them as well, longer and more apology-filled. She puts it in the box where she’s keeping everything for the others in the event of her death. She trusts them to deliver it when the time comes.

Her Hanahaki hits the two-year mark. She doesn’t die. Somehow, she doesn’t die, and both of them are confused at this point. A year was already unprecedented enough; they are well beyond that now, and she suspects she might be the longest living case of the disease in the world. Minji elects not to question it in the end, just grateful to still have her there, and it makes the older girl redouble her efforts to get her and Bora together.

Siyeon has her own theory. Not much is known about the progression of Hanahaki- in fact, not much is known about Hanahaki besides its effects, but she knows the only cure for the disease is reciprocal love from the afflicted’s soulmate. But the disease isn't sentient, so how would it know?

Siyeon thinks that the feeling has to come from her. All those moments with Bora, all those times where the girl did something that let her hope, let her believe……Siyeon thinks that each of those moments slowed the disease down. 

It would certainly explain how she was still alive after all this time, and why her Hanahaki was proceeding so glacially. She’s done her research. Coughing up full or almost-full flowers is the disease’s final stage. Once that happens, the afflicted has a matter of weeks to live; a month, if they’re lucky.

She’s counted. It’s been seven months and twenty days since she’d entered the final stage, and while her Hanahaki has worsened since then, it’s not to nearly the extent she expected. She’s even kept the ability to sing, although these days it inevitably leads to a build-up in the throat and forces her to hide away for a time.

If those moments with Bora truly have slowed it down, Siyeon knows why she’s still here. 

Some months ago, they’d performed in Chile, and during their time there, they’d answered a number of fan requests and questions on the stage. Minji had handed her a question, which wasn’t unusual in itself, but she’d caught the giggle on her leader’s face and opened it with a frown.

She’d snorted in laughter as soon as she’d read it. “Is this your way of telling me to confess, Minji?” she’d asked discreetly, and the leader had laughed at her. “This is me telling you to go and kiss your girl already, you idiot,” she’d said, and Siyeon had just shrugged. She wasn’t afraid to tell Bora anymore. She just wanted the other girl to know.

When Bora had reached for the next question, Siyeon had pressed that one into her hands, and the girl had taken it without the slightest hesitation. 

The memory is as clear as day to her.

_“SuA, can you kiss Siyeon?” Bora reads, and she turns to Siyeon with a smile on her face. “You chose a very interesting question, Siyeonie,” she teases, a playfulness in her tone that Siyeon rarely gets to see these days. _

_They close together, careful to position in a way that would hide the kiss itself, and she leans in. Bora pecks her on the cheek before pulling away, and Siyeon feels the tingling sensation rush through her even as she registers disappointment._

_“That’s it?” she thinks._

_Once, she would have been inclined to let that slide, too shy, too worried to do anything else besides. But she is bolder now, confidence bolstered by the knowledge of her impending death. She has enough regrets already without adding this to the list, and the only thing that stops her from confessing and kissing the girl senseless here and now is the need to keep her condition hidden._

_But she can do this, at the very least. _

_She catches Bora’s arm, pulling the girl back until they’re almost touching. Her expression registers surprise, confusion, and something she can’t quite identify, but Siyeon’s attention is elsewhere. The older girl’s lips seem to call out to her, bright and soft and red, and Siyeon kisses her, nibbling softly on her bottom lip in the same way that the other girl had done to her back at Fact iN Star._

_That had been less than a year ago, but it might as well have been another lifetime for her._

_The kiss only lasts a few seconds, but Siyeon is satisfied when she pulls away to the roar of the cheering crowd and waves. Bora looks stunned, a deep flush coating her cheeks as she touches a hand to her lips._

_ After that, she goes weeks without the need to cough, and when she finally does, it is less raw, less painful than she remembers. _

Siyeon sighs at the memory. All of that is irrelevant now, because Bora has been avoiding her ever since. She’d intended to tell Bora after the show, only to find that the girl had disappeared. 

She’d started to suspect Bora was avoiding her after her next four attempts to catch the girl alone had ended with Bora having to rush off for some spontaneous and urgent reason. Despite Minji’s best efforts to convince her otherwise, Siyeon took it as another sign that Bora didn’t love her back, and felt another thorn prick her heart when the thought crossed her mind. 

Besides, not even Minji can deny that the girl is avoiding her now. Siyeon hasn’t seen her alone for months, and when she has seen her, it’s been with the group around, when they’re doing practices and events and can never interact for more than a few seconds at the time.

She’s accepted it. She’s even given up on telling Bora, deciding that even if she managed to find a private moment to confess, it wouldn't be worth it; you can't force those type of feelings, let alone develop them overnight, and it's not worth leaving her with the guilt. Only Minji knows otherwise, and she’s made the other girl swear not to blame her.

That, among other things, is the reason why she’s surprised when Minji storms into their bedroom late that afternoon and tosses a leaflet into her lap. Thankfully, Yoobin is out at the time, because Siyeon doesn’t want to field the questions it would undoubtedly raise. 

“We’ve got an interview with Abema TV tomorrow,” she says. “Two people. I’m sending you and Bora so you two can fix this. She’s already agreed to go.” 

Siyeon wants to argue that there’s nothing to fix, that Bora just doesn’t love her and nothing can change that, but she’s long since given up trying to change Minji’s mind on the matter. 

“Sure that’s a good idea?” she asks instead, raising an eyebrow pointedly.

Minji growls in frustration. “I promise you, Siyeon, Bora _does_ care. I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately. Take the interview, please. Tell her. You’ll see.” 

_Before it's too late._

The older girl doesn’t voice the thought, but Siyeon can see it in her eyes. Her friend is desperate, and this is the best she can do. She owes it to her to try, at least, even if her hopes for anything different to happen have long since flickered and died.

* * *

She wakes up with an odd energy the next morning, and she wonders if it’s because she’ll be close to Bora for the first time in months. The outfit she pulls from her closet is one she’s rarely had reason to wear. But it’s black, it looks smart, and Siyeon decides it works perfectly well for an interview once she inspects it in the mirror.

The interview is at noon, and she shows up with a half-hour to spare, a packet of tissues in her pocket in case she has to cough. Bora’s not there yet, so Siyeon pulls out her phone and starts playing the first game she sees. It barely holds her attention for a minute. Normally, she can lose herself in them without much trouble, but today is different, and she puts it away in favour of twirling a lock of her now-blonde hair around.

She’d changed it up for their new song, and while she likes having dark hair, the blonde look isn’t so bad. It reminds her of MINX, both good and bad. It reminds her of when she first met Minji, Bora, Yoohyeon and Yoobin. It was the start of everything, and so Siyeon doesn’t mind the look, even if she thinks she’ll change back to dark hair before long.

Her phone pings, and she checks her notifications. There’s a new text from Minji, and she taps on it curiously. 

_“Are you there yet?” _it reads.  _“_ _Yes,”_ she types back. _“Waiting for Bora.”_

Minji’s reply is instant. _“She’s not there yet? She should be. The interview starts in ten minutes!”_

Siyeon blinks. Had it been that long already? Apparently she’d been lost in thought for longer than she'd realised. There’s still no sign of Bora, and Siyeon wonders whether something’s happened to her. Bora might be avoiding her, but she’d never dodge an interview for something so petty. She knows how important they are.

In the end, Bora shows up with a minute to spare, the sound of loud footsteps giving her away before Siyeon actually sees the girl run around the corner. 

“Sorry I’m late!” she pants. “I meant to get here sooner, but something came up. I had to take care of it before the interview started, and traffic was a _pain_, I swear…Did I keep you waiting long?”

A few dishevelled strands hang from the girl’s head, and Siyeon shakes her head as she reaches for them. “Not really,” she replies, gently moving the wayward hair back into place.

“Thanks.”  


An awkward silence settles over them, and Siyeon wants to scream at that, even knowing what it would do to her, because this can’t be right. It can’t be. They’ve known each other far too long for that, have been through too much together to let this become the norm.

“Bora, I…” she begins, only for her phone to buzz and inform her that they need to be on set.

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting,” Bora says. “We can talk later.” Siyeon just nods, silently cursing her luck, and forces a smile onto her face as they step onto the set and greet the host.

Given their recent awkwardness around one another, Siyeon expects the interview to be among the more painful experiences of her life. She’s prepared for a long and torrid affair of dancing around questions while she tries to figure out why Bora’s so intent on avoiding her. 

Instead, Bora shoots her a grin at the start, and they synchronise the greeting effortlessly. “Dream of me! Good morning, we are Dreamcatcher’s Queen SuA and Wolf Siyeon,” they chime together, clapping as part of the welcoming routine.

Siyeon blinks. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The rest of the interview goes just as smoothly. They play off one another like clockwork, they laugh, they joke, they follow up on each other’s responses. You would never know that they hadn’t been like this for months, and Siyeon’s grateful for it, even if a part of her wonders just what’s changed. 

She’s always laughed and relaxed the most around Bora, and it’s never more true than when they play a game halfway through the interview. The goal is to make the other person laugh by pulling a funny face. They’ll be trying to do the same to you. It’s a game the host suggested, so Siyeon expects her to be good, and prepares herself. Bora manages to eliminate herself at the beginning of the game, giggling before anyone even pulls a face. 

Siyeon sighs. _That’s Bora for you_, she thinks fondly.

The game is dead even; her poker face holds up well against the host’s expressions and vice versa, and Siyeon's about to pull a new one when Bora screws up her face into the silliest expression she’s ever seen. Her poker face shatters like glass, and she can’t stop the laughter that follows.

“She laughed, she laughed! I win!” the host cheers. 

“Fighter, Fighter! She’s a strong opponent,” Bora laughs, and Siyeon shakes the girl indignantly for making her lose. “You did that on purpose!” she says playfully, and Bora shoots her a mischievous grin in return. 

“You were strong,” the host agrees. “I won only because she made you laugh and helped me.” Siyeon pouts, standing on her dignity for the camera, but she offers the woman a smile. 

“If you liked it, please try the game with your members,” she suggests, and Siyeon nods. _Yes, _she thinks. Yes, they absolutely need to do that. She knows Minji will be terrible at the game and suspects Gahyeon will be dangerously good, but it should be interesting.

She whispers part of this to Bora, and the girl looks thoughtful. “Sounds good,” she says, and leans over. “You know, even when she screwed up her face like that, she still looked beautiful,” Bora whispers, and Siyeon feels her heart crack so painfully that she wonders how the world can’t hear it.

“Yeah,” she affirms quietly, the rasp in her voice a warning of what’s to come, and tries to quell the surge in her chest as the translator works. The host’s response is immediate. “No, no!” she laughs, shaking her hands. “You’re very kind, but don’t say such sweet words to me!”

Still, she makes a finger heart at Bora, who returns the gesture in kind, and Siyeon’s face twists unwillingly. She catches Bora’s eye for a second, and she must have looked worse than she thought, because the girl’s expression immediately softens and she pats Siyeon on the shoulder.

_“Are you okay?”_ her eyes seem to ask.

Siyeon just nods, not trusting her voice in that moment, and forces a small smile onto her face as the host starts talking again.

“So, before you came on today, we had you answer a few questions, and I’ve got those here with me now…” She looks at her notes briefly. “Decide a ‘catch copy’ for each other. The ‘catch copy’ that Siyeon decided for SuA is “Carbonic acid.” What does this mean?” 

Bora gets it immediately, making a popping sound with her tongue as she goes “Pow!”, but the host looks confused, and Siyeon doesn’t blame her. It's something only they would get. “Hmm…how do I put it,” she says, and is grateful when her voice doesn’t waver or hitch. “Popping. She has a certain charm like that to her. She’s always bursting with energy.”

“She’s certainly a very genki person,” the host laughs, and Siyeon nods emphatically. Bora looks between them both and shrugs, saying “Hai!” in a slightly higher voice. “I see the ‘popping’ now,” the host says, and they chuckle briefly before moving on.

“The ‘catch copy’ that SuA decided for Siyeon is “Stage Master”. What does this mean?” she asks, and Siyeon fixes her gaze intently on Bora. She suspects she knows, but she wants to see if Bora thinks the same. 

“Usually she is full of aegyo and jokes,” Bora says thoughtfully, and Siyeon starts dancing slightly in her seat to prove the point. “But when she goes up on stage? Charisma Mas—Master!” she says, stumbling over the last word slightly and shooting the camera a thumbs-up at the end.

Siyeon nods approvingly, and then bursts into laughter at the display. The translator laughs too, and quickly relays her words to the host, who has been listening attentively. The host chuckles too when she finds out. “It’s good that you know each other so well,” she says. “So cool!”

Both of them clap politely, and then Bora turns to Siyeon and says “I love you,” making a finger heart at her. She returns the gesture automatically before the words reach her brain, and immediately bursts into giggles to hide the shock in her heart.

“She laughed when she heard “I love you” directly. She’s shy,” the host comments, and Siyeon grins ruefully into the camera. She can’t deny that. Less than she was, perhaps, but still reserved.

It is something she’s never felt the urge to change, and she wonders what it would be like to be different.

“Next question; what do you want each other to change or fix?” Siyeon grimaces internally at this. It hadn’t been an easy question for her to answer, largely because she couldn’t say what was actually on her mind. She’d had to think of a specific answer she could give that wasn’t a lie, and even then, she’d almost written the wrong thing multiple times as her brain tried to distract her.

“And Siyeon’s answer to SuA is ‘When she is focusing on one thing, she stops being able to notice anything around her.’ What do you mean by this?”

Siyeon lets out a deep breath. She can answer this. “Yes, it’s quite a serious problem,” she says, and Bora pretends to be blind to the world for a second before dropping her head in embarrassment. 

They both remember the moment all too well, Siyeon because she’d been trying to confess at the time, and Bora because the aftermath of the encounter had left Siyeon in a mood for days. 

“When she yawned…” Siyeon begins, and quickly dials it back as she realises that the context isn't there. “So, I was talking to Bora some months ago, and we were having a good conversation.”

It really had been a good conversation, too. They’d been chatting casually, quietly, catching up on what the other had been doing lately. Both of them had been busy with practice and such, and Siyeon had been dragged away with the other members to record covers and participate in VLives and promotions and events. If she wasn’t in those, then Bora was doing the work instead, and so on. 

So they’d just relished the time to talk, and Siyeon had steadily grown more comfortable with it.

_“Bora?” she’d asked. “Can I tell you something?”_

_“Sure,” Bora had said, and then she’d yawned deeply and blinked. “Sorry, I’ve missed a lot of sleep lately. What were we talking about?” she’d asked, and the genuine confusion in her voice was a slap in the face to Siyeon._

She’d had to fight the urge to scream, and her brittle mood ended the conversation before long. Bora never brought it up again, and that had been the last time they’d talked alone in the previous months.

_Focus._ The gentle, chiding thought reminds her that she’s on set, and she snaps back to reality with a jolt. No one has called her out yet, and she hastily returns to her story. “So, the yawning…I was having this conversation with Bora, and I asked her a question. She was saying something back when she yawned, and she forgot everything that happened.”

Siyeon doesn’t quite manage to stop the hurt from leaking into her voice, and while the host thankfully misses it, Bora doesn’t. “So she’s a forgetful person?” the host questions, and Bora nods. “Yes,” she says ruefully, and they all chuckle. 

“Really, she should try to do something about that.” 

Bora nods. “Yes. But it’s something that's really hard to change! I’ve tried to fix it,” she says, and there’s frustration and apology in her tone as she turns to Siyeon. 

“It’s a hard thing to change, yes,” the host agrees, and Siyeon bobs her head in acknowledgement. Bora’s clearly remorseful about it, and she’s not truly mad at the girl. She’s just frustrated, and that’s part of why she sighs and gives Bora a soft smile as the host continues.

“Now, the thing that SuA wants Siyeon to change is…eh? ‘She’s too charming, my heart can’t handle it!’ Please explain, SuA,” the host asks. Siyeon rubs her forehead tiredly, and Bora just grins and crosses her hands over her heart. “Ah! I can’t—Ah!” she says dramatically.

This only confuses the host more. “What do you mean by this? Is it like suffering for you?” 

“Yes,” Bora nods seriously. “She’s, really, really, CUTE! My heart can’t handle that!” The host and the camera staff crack up, and Siyeon just sighs as Bora grins in delight. _Look firm, look firm, _she thinks, and tries her best to keep a straight face as a smile threatens to take it over.

The host smiles at them. “You can tell the two of them are really close.” she says. _You have no idea_, Siyeon thinks privately, and from the look on her face, Bora’s thoughts are much the same. 

“Yes,” she replies offhandedly, and the host’s grin widens. “They love each other,” she continues, and Siyeon pauses. 

“Yes,” she says again, meeting Bora’s gaze and making a finger heart as she does. Bora doesn’t say anything, but she returns the heart. Something shifts in the air, and the pair of them quickly break eye contact. Siyeon looks down, pretending to adjust her mic, and Bora’s eyes wander briefly before she fixes her gaze towards the camera.

“Now, a question from us to our guests. Was there anything that surprised you in Japan?” The question is an earnest one, the host still blissfully oblivious of the situation between them. 

Siyeon swallows, and feels her throat pulse a warning. “All the people…” she starts, and almost gags on the words as her throat contracts. “Words are hard,” she coughs lightly, trying to relieve the pressure without losing it completely.

“Your Japanese was perfect, though,” the host compliments, and Siyeon rubs her throat lightly and prays her voice will hold for this.

“Everyone was so friendly…there were a lot of times where we would literally just walk by and people would greet us cheerfully because that’s the habit they have.” The broadcast crew nod in understanding as the words are translated, and confirm that it’s part of their nature and culture to do so. Siyeon does her best to listen, but her attention is slowly pulled away by the pain in her chest and throat.

She’s only vaguely aware of Bora discussing her love for the buildings there, and when she’s prompted, she answers in short, clipped sentences to disguise her illness. 

When it ends, they bid the interviewer goodbye, and quickly make their way off set. The second they’re out of sight, Siyeon coughs, and the taste of blood makes its way into her mouth.

“Are you alright?” Bora asks, and she nods shakily as she swallows again and turns to her.  There’s never going to be a better time for this. 

“Bora, I need to tell you something.” The other girl’s eyes dim, and her whole posture seems to slump. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Siyeon. I know.”

Siyeon’s brain judders to a halt. _She knows? What? How? Whe-_

“I saw you and Minji that night. By accident, I promise, and I left pretty soon afterwards,” she fidgets. “It felt like I’d walked in on something personal, you know?”

There’s a strange, slow sadness to her voice, and Siyeon’s horror-struck as she realises what Bora thinks is going on. “Bora-”

“I’m happy for you two, Siyeon. Really. So there’s no need to confess that to me. I know. Listen, I need to go for a while. I’ll meet you back at the house, okay?” She doesn’t wait for an answer before she walks off, her pace rapidly quickening until she’s almost running.

Siyeon tries to yell, to call her back, to _just wait because it’s not what she thinks it is and she’d explain everything if she gets the chance, just one chance-_

But her swelling throat betrays her, and her words are lost in the gagging cough that comes from her. There’s blood, too much of it, and she knows she needs help as she pulls the packet of tissues from her pocket and coughs into one. The tissue starts turning red.

She reaches for her phone with trembling hands, dials the number, and the girl picks up immediately. “Hello? How’d it go, Siyeon? Did you-”

“Minji,” she whispers. “Help. Abema TV. Bad.”

There’s a muffled curse and a lot of frantic sounds through the receiver. “No-no-no don’t you **dare** die on me Lee Siyeon!” Minji yells. “I’m coming as fast as I can. Wait out front!”

The call disconnects, and Siyeon clings to the phone with a death grip as she starts making her way to the front. She can only hope Minji gets there soon. She’s dying, she knows, but if she’s going to die, she wants it to be at home. Not here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally one chapter, but between the length of the actual piece and the way it flows, I decided that splitting it into two works a little better. The second part of it's nearly done, and I'm hoping to get it out in a few days time, with an epilogue to follow afterwards. 
> 
> You may have to forgive me for the cliffhanger, though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things should never have come to this, and she won't let it end this way.

Minji’s just gotten out of a meeting when she gets the call. It makes it easier for her to drop everything and _run_. She almost bowls over a few people in her hurry, muttering quick apologies as she heads for the entrance.

Her car’s parked out front, and she practically throws herself into the driver’s seat, gunning the engine before she even gets her seatbelt on.   


It takes her less than three minutes to make it to Abema TV, and she tries not to think about just how many laws she’s broken to do it as she searches for Siyeon. She suspects she won’t like the answer. She slows slightly, her frustration building as she searches for something, anything. She'd told Siyeon to wait out front; where was she?

Finally, the girl’s familiar jacket comes into view. Siyeon's tucked away in a corner just off to the side of the building, and Minji comes to a halt and throws the door open.

Siyeon is leaning heavily against the wall, supporting herself on trembling legs, and Minji ignores the burning in her legs as she runs towards her. “What happened?” she asks, getting her arms around the other girl and carefully helping her towards the car. Siyeon leans on her alarmingly, and Minji bites her lip in worry as she pops the passenger door open with a foot and straps the girl in firmly. 

“I’m taking you back to the house,” she says, quickly seating herself behind the wheel. “There’s medicine and things there, some that I’ve been keeping for a bad day. It should help—it has to help. Just hang on.”

Siyeon doesn’t respond, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling in slow, shallow breaths. Minji runs the lights on the way home, and even though she knows she’ll pay for it later, she doesn’t give it a second thought. All that matters is keeping her friend alive. She’s almost grateful the others are out of the house at the moment. They’d help her, but they’d also panic, and she can’t deal with that right now. She’s barely holding it together herself.

The familiar sight of the house can’t come soon enough, and Minji screeches to a halt and moves her to their bedroom as fast and as gently as she can. The medicine's not quite where she'd left it—she was going to kill whoever'd left the space so messy—and she tears the dresser apart until she finds the little box she’s squirrelled away.

There are numerous items inside it; lozenges, soothing ointments, relaxants, anything and everything she thought might help. But with Siyeon in this state, there are only a few of them that will have any significant effect, and she reaches for two of them in particular.

They're by far the strongest of the medicines she’s found, and when she mixes them into the water they're supposed to be taken with, the liquid turns a dull orange. Siyeon almost chokes on the mixture at first, but Minji massages the girl’s throat gently until she’s able to swallow it all. Her body relaxes once she does, and Minji feels tears pricking at her eyes as she sets the glass aside. 

None of this should be happening, none of it! She knows Bora, knows the girl is hiding something, knows how much she cares about Siyeon. She knows they love each other; she knows it with more surety than she’s known anything in her life. Siyeon shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be on the verge of death, fighting an illness that could—no, _should_ have been stopped more than a year ago.

“I tried,” someone rasps quietly, and Minji’s head snaps up.

Siyeon is looking at her, brown eyes clouded with pain. “I tried to tell her,” she rasps. “You were right…about the interview.” She coughs, sending a spray of bloody petals over the blanket. “I tried to confess afterwards. She stopped me.”

A hand reaches out, and Minji takes it, wincing at how cold and limp her friend’s grip feels. “Minji…Bora thinks we’re together.”

No. That can’t be possible. How….that night. It’s the only thing that makes sense. All of this whirs through her head in a second, and she knows what she has to do. “I’ll be right back,” she says, desperately ignoring the sound of bubbling blood she can hear in Siyeon’s laboured breaths. 

Siyeon blinks slowly and meets her gaze. The world is darker now, everything filtered through a dull haze of sorts, but if she focuses, she can ignore the effect. There's fear in Minji's eyes, but as she watches, she sees the girl's expression change from unbridled panic to steely determination. “Don’t you dare die on me,” Minji instructs her, and the older girl runs out the second she sees Siyeon nod.

Siyeon knows where she’s going. She knows what Minji’s going to do. She hopes Bora will listen, even if she doesn’t feel the same. She’d like to see the girl once more before she dies.

_“Don’t you dare give up that easily, Lee Siyeon. You never managed to confess,”_ a small voice whispers in her head. _“You saw how sad she was, how off she seemed. She cares about you a lot. She just thinks she was too late to tell you. So don’t you dare give up now.”_

It sounds like something Minji would say, and part of her desperately wants to believe it. But she’s hurting, her heart still bloodied by the sting of a thousand thorns, and the thought flickers and gutters like a fading flame. 

But it never quite goes out, and Siyeon smiles weakly as she feels the thorns start to close in on her heart.

* * *

Bora is walking through the park, aimlessly watching as she lets the world go by. She hadn’t lied back there. She’s genuinely happy for Siyeon. She wants the best for them. 

She just…needs time to accept it all.

So when Minji’s number pops up on her phone, Bora almost doesn’t answer. She doesn’t hate Minji, honestly, but the older girl is one of the people she’d rather not talk to right now. At the same time, Minji is her leader, and while it wouldn’t be out of character to call just to talk, it could also be genuinely important. A last-minute event, extra practice, promotional work…all of it means more to her for now than a little time to clear her head.

She makes her decision, and answers on the tenth ring. “Hello?” she says, popping the end of the word. 

“Where are you?” 

Minji’s voice is terse and cold, and Bora frowns. “Just on the edges of Seoul Forest,” she answers honestly. “What’s up? Did something happen with-”

“I’m coming to get you, don’t you dare move. This isn’t something we should talk about over the phone.”

Minji hangs up without another word, and Bora frowns in confusion as she starts walking back towards the entrance. She’d never heard the older girl that angry before. Serious, certainly, but never that cold. Something was wrong, and she hums as she considers what the cause could be.

It couldn’t be business-related; even the announcement of their hiatus all those years ago hadn’t gotten a reaction that strong from the girl, so it had to be personal. So why…Her brain halts. _Siyeon._ It could only be Siyeon. She’d been looking pretty off lately, and she’d been coughing back in Abema. 

And Bora had just left her there. 

Her stride quickens into a run, and she starts sprinting towards the entrance to the park, ignoring the building pressure in her chest.

She’s barely arrived when she sees Minji’s car roar down the street and screech to a halt beside her. Bora gets in quickly, and Minji guns the engine as soon as the door closes behind her. “What’s wrong, Minji?” she asks, belting herself in hurriedly. “What happened to Siyeon? Is she okay?”

It’s a stupid question, she knows, and she winces the second the words leave her mouth. She doesn’t, however, expect the words that leave Minji’s.

“Siyeon is dying.”

Her heart screams in pain at the words, and Bora jerks forward. “What do you mean, ‘she’s dying?!’ What happened? I know she was coughing when we finished the interview and I…left her, but—”

“Bora.”

“Why are you even here with me if she’s dying? She’s your girlfriend! You should be with her, helping her, not wasting time with—”

“BORA!” Minji yells, and Bora stops cold. In all her years of knowing the other girl, she’s never heard Minji raise her voice at her. Not like this. The shock alone is enough to shut her up instantly, and her blood turns cold as she hears the next words that leave the older girl's mouth.

“I can’t help her,” Minji says tiredly. “Only you can. She has Hanahaki, Bora. She loves you. She’s loved you for a long time, and she thought you didn’t care. We’re not dating. We never have been.”

That can’t be. 

“But that night…” she trails off.

“The night I found out. She’d been hiding it from everyone, but I noticed her walk away again after the shoot, and I followed when I could. I heard her coughing in the bathroom. She was pale when she came out, and she tried to play it off. I was already suspicious of something before that, but I didn't expect the cough. She left purple petals everywhere. After that, she told me everything, and I’ve been trying to help get you two together ever since.”

Everything seems to crystallise in her mind. The touches. The odd looks. The sudden boldness, the slow withdrawal from the group. The many times she’s found them pushed together. And today’s attempt to talk to her after the interview, the confession that she’d aborted because she was so sure she knew—

She’s the worst soulmate ever. 

“I have to fix this,” she whispers desperately, and Minji looks back as the traffic holds her at the lights. Her face is hard, but Bora sees it soften the slightest bit. “I’m hoping you still can. But Bora…I’ve never seen anyone survive Hanahaki at this stage before. She’s had it for a long time. It’s rooted deep.”

“It doesn’t matter. I have to try. I’m already the worst soulmate ever. If I don’t make the attempt, I’ll never forgive myself. I still might not,” she admits quietly, head sinking into her hands.

“Bora.” Minji’s brown eyes are fixed on her, and Bora hates that she can see a spark of understanding in them. She doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve any of this, doesn’t deserve Siyeon even if she somehow survives this and—

“Do you love her?”

_Yes_, she thinks. She knows it, has known it longer than she cares to imagine, though she never thought it could be real. She knows it as well as she knows her own name. She could have answered it a million different ways, all of them ending the same. But she doesn’t voice any of them.

Instead, Bora coughs, and a dozen blue petals float through the air inside Minji’s car.

* * *

Minji drives like the devil possessed after she clears the traffic, and the lights of their home appear before long. Bora unbuckles her seatbelt and leaps out of the car before it completely halts, stumbling slightly when she hits the ground.

She doesn’t fall, however, and she runs for the door, keys already in hand. She fumbles at the lock, cursing when the key slips twice, and opens it more by blind luck than anything as the key turns and she bursts in.

“Siyeon!” she yells. “Siyeon!”

“The bedroom,” Minji pants, only seconds behind her. “Gave her some medicine I’ve been keeping in case something like this happened, left her to rest. Go, Bora.” She opens the door and steps aside, leaving it wide open for her. Bora swallows, her throat suddenly dry, and steps through.

It’s dark inside, shadows coating every corner of the room. She fumbles for the light switch, finds it, and immediately sees the huddled form in the bed. “Siyeon!”

The form shifts, and Bora rushes over, ignoring all pretense at dignity as she kneels at the bedside. Siyeon looks terrible, her skin marred with dark veins and patches of crimson red. She’s pale, incredibly so, and her eyes are closed. They blink open as she moves over, and the red lips part.

“Bo..ra?” she says slowly, her voice weak and raspy. 

Bora almost cries. “Yes,” she chokes out, and Siyeon’s face twists into a small smile. “You came. I thought you wouldn’t, after…” 

She coughs, and Bora winces as bloodstained petals spray over the bed. They’re a familiar purple, a vibrant-reddish shade of colour that Siyeon’s always claimed would suit her. “Bora….Minji and I….we aren’t-”

“I know!” she says desperately, cutting Siyeon off. “Minji told me everything in the car and Siyeon, I’m so, so sorry! I shouldn’t have left you, I shouldn’t have made you think that way, I…”

Her eyes burn with tears, and a soft hand starts stroking her face to brush them away. “I forgive you,” Siyeon whispers, and Bora shakes her head. “No. No, you shouldn’t,” she says bitterly. “Look at what I’ve done to you! All because I was playing around and having fun and never noticed how much I was toying with your heart…”

She would have said more, but her throat seizes and cuts the words off in a choking sob. Siyeon is still smiling at her, and the guilt roils and grows and makes her want to throw up. “It’s okay,” Siyeon whispers. “I’m just glad you’re here. I’m glad I got to tell you in the end.”

Guilt stabs through her like a spear to the heart, and she grits her teeth. She wants this. She wants it so badly, but she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve her. “You should hate me,” Bora says quietly. “You should hate me after what I’ve done.”

Siyeon’s beautiful eyes stare back at her, and she shakes her head. “I could never hate you—” A painful, hacking cough interrupts her, and she spits up a bloody, almost-whole flower. “Never,” she rasps painfully. “Not your fault you can’t love me back. My fault.”

_Wait-wait-wait-what-_

Bora’s mind screeches to a halt, horror spiking through her, and with a jolt, she realises that in all this mess, she still hasn’t told her—she hasn’t told Siyeon she—

“But I do love you,” she whispers, ignoring the pain in her heart when disbelief flashes across Siyeon’s face. “You don’t need to lie to me anymore, Bora,” she blinks, shaking her head slowly. “My pain doesn’t matter now.”

She doesn’t believe her. All this time, and Siyeon doesn’t believe her. She knows it. She knows it’s true, but she doesn’t know how—

And then Bora feels the pain spike and surge in her chest, feels the familiar pressure in her throat. This time, she doesn’t fight it, and feels a strange calm settle over her. “I’m not lying,” she says, and feels the petals surge upwards.

Bora coughs, and Siyeon stares in disbelief at the petals that drift down onto her blanket. “You…” Words seem to fail her, and she reaches for one of the petals. They’re her favorite shade of blue, the unmistakable proof of Bora’s feelings, and she almost flinches when they brush against her fingers.

“How long?”

“Chile,” the smaller girl says ruefully.“After that kiss. I coughed when I was washing up for the night, and well…the blue made it kind of obvious. It could only have been you. But I got scared. I didn’t know for sure, and after seeing you and Minji before, I…”

A slow laugh builds in Siyeon’s throat. “We really are soulmates, aren’t we.”

“Yeah,” Bora says, and they share a quiet chuckle before a hacking cough from the younger girl interrupts them. “Damn it,” Siyeon grunts, wiping a trail of blood from her mouth. “And here I thought I was going to die without regrets. I wish we had more time.”

“Wait-wait-wait, what?” Somehow, they're not on the same page. “Siyeon.…what are you saying?”

Because everything should be fine; she can feel a strange lightening in her chest, a tingle that she takes to be the slow healing of her Hanahaki. It should be the same for Siyeon. But there’s a quiet resignation to the girl's tone, and her eyes are starting to flutter. “I don’t understand!” Bora says desperately. “What’s wrong? That should have cured it! I can _feel_ it.” 

Siyeon coughs wetly, the sound of bubbling blood in her throat. “Don’t know,” she rasps. “Maybe…too late for me.” Another cough shakes her, the sound raw and bloody and painful, and Bora shakes her head. 

_No. No. Please don’t take her away from me. Please._

She doesn’t even know who she’s pleading to. Someone. Anyone. Anything that can stop this.

“Can I kiss you?” Siyeon whispers, a soft hand reaching up to brush her face, and Bora chokes back a sob as she nods tearfully and leans in.

Kissing your soulmate is supposed to feel special. From what she knows, everyone’s experience is unique; she’s talked to friends who’ve found theirs already, and they all say different things. For some, it’s like liquid fire, warm and soothing and passionate to the core. For others, it’s calming, softness and safety and the feeling of being home. But the one thing they all say is that it feels _right_, like they’d been missing something all their lives and had never known the difference until they’d felt it there and then.

When their lips meet, she feels none of these things. There is no liquid fire, no soothing calm. It is a kiss much like any other kiss, and for a desperate, terrifying moment, she wonders whether they’re wrong, whether she’s messed things up so badly that the bond itself won’t take. 

And then she feels it.

It’s like something’s clicked into place deep inside her, filling a gap in her soul that she’d never even known, and she feels _right_. 

They lean in, deepening the kiss, and Bora _feels_. Their bond is not fire or ice or calm or passion. It’s security and safety and comfort and belonging. It’s the feeling of knowing one another so intimately that no words could ever describe it. It is trust and contentment and pure, unbridled joy. It’s like nothing she’s ever felt before, and when they finally separate, she feels the brief sting of loss. 

“You felt it, didn’t you?” she says faintly.

Siyeon nods. “Yeah,” she whispers, tears welling up in her beautiful brown eyes. “Bora…thank you. Thank you for letting me feel that before…”

“Don’t say it,” Bora begs. “Don’t. _Please._”

A soft smile stretches across Siyeon’s face. “I’m not…going anywhere. Promise.” Bora feels a hand slip into hers, and Siyeon squeezes it firmly. “_Promise_,” she murmurs, her voice almost inaudible, and the girl’s eyes slip closed. Her breathing slows, her hand slackens, and the room seems to grow colder.

Losing your soulmate hurts, she knows. Even if you’ve never bonded, it’s supposed to feel like death, like you’ve been torn apart and you’ll never be whole again. Some people don’t survive it. Some take their own lives after it happens.

Siyeon draws a deep, shuddering breath before racking coughs shake her form. It’s the hallmark of the end, the final nail in the coffin, and as she hacks and coughs, sending petals raining across the room, Bora squeezes her eyes shut and waits for the loss to hit.

* * *

She hadn’t entered the room for a reason. Whatever they talked about in there was theirs and theirs alone. Minji would never interrupt that, would never sit in on a confession between soulmates.

But they’re her friends, her family, the people she’s trusted and cared about for years and years, and the curiosity and worry eat away at her. In the end, it’s the sound of quiet sobbing that proves too much, and she reaches for the door.

It clicks quietly when she enters the room, and Minji's heart skips a beat at the scene she finds. Bora is kneeling beside the bed, cradling Siyeon’s form gently as she strokes the girl’s hair. There are tears streaming down her face, and Siyeon is unnaturally still, pale and dark-veined from the effects of the Hanahaki. 

For a moment, she fears the worst.

She doesn’t know what to do. How do you comfort someone from a loss like that? Minji can already feel herself breaking, and while her relationship with Siyeon is one of the closest she has, it can’t compare to the utter devastation Bora must feel. She’s just lost her soulmate.

But then she notices the rise and fall of Siyeon’s chest, and while her breaths are slow and shallow, they’re also regular. Bora’s eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, but the tears are slowly stemming, and she’s smiling a bittersweet smile.

“I think she’s going to be okay,” Bora whispers. “For a while, I thought I’d lost her, but Singnie’s strong.” She chuckles ruefully. “But then again, we already knew that. She forgave me, you know? She shouldn’t have. I don’t deserve that. But if she survives this, I’ll spend every day of the rest of our lives making it up to her.”

That’s when it all becomes too much for Minji, and she starts crying herself as she kneels down and wraps the both of them in the tightest embrace she can muster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This...absolutely kicked my ass to write; I think I've rewritten the scene at least fifteen times by now, and it annoys me that the chapter seems shorter than it should be. But it also feels right to leave it like this. There's still the epilogue to go, and you can expect that in a day or two.


	5. Chapter 5

Strange. She’d known she was dying before she closed her eyes. She could feel it. But the confession, the kiss…they’d changed something. Her pain had been swept away, replaced with the overwhelming desire to close her eyes. She’d assumed it was death closing in on her.

_I promise._

It had been the only thing she could think of to comfort Bora. She’d hoped to be able to watch over her soulmate from beyond; she hated breaking promises. But when she’d closed her eyes, she hadn’t died. She’d known nothing for a long while, and now she was…here. Wherever here was, anyway. The best thing she can describe it as is a void of sorts; she can feel, in a way. She can touch and hear and breathe, but she can’t see or move. Attempting to open her eyes or shift slightly rewards her with little more than weariness and a strange, phantom pain.

Sometimes she hears voices. Sometimes they sound like Bora and Minji and the rest, and she feels phantom touches trail over her hands, her face, her shoulders. They’re gentle brushes, murmured whispers, and they fade away before long. 

She always tries to answer them, but her voice seems to be gone, paralysed in the same manner as the rest of her body. There are times where she wonders whether this is death, whether this is the end for everyone, but there’s one, ever-present thing that stops her from accepting it.

She can still _feel_ Bora, and that means their soulbond’s still intact. It feels weak, almost muted, but it’s there, and she knows that soulbonds always break on death. As long as it’s there, that means she’s alive. And if she’s alive, she can get out of this.

_I promise._

She clings to the words with a desperation born of hope.

* * *

Things start to become clearer after a while, and she wonders how long she’s been stuck here.

The voices are stronger now; she gets snippets, words, even full sentences sometimes. She's managed to move a little. Fingers and toes and the slightest tilt of her head. She does it whenever she hears the voices, and while the attempts tire her quickly, the voices always react to it with joy. The snippets grow longer and longer; they’re well-wishes and pleas for the most part. Sometimes there’s anger to it, and that, more than anything, convinces her that it’s Dreamcatcher waiting for her, trying to bring her back to them.

The anger’s well-deserved, honestly; she owes them an explanation when she gets out of this. Even still, she can’t help but shudder at the thought of it.

Sometimes they’ll stay with her for a while. Sometimes it’s Handong and Yoobin, coming in to tell her about their day. Sometimes it’s Gahyeon and Yoohyeon chatting about a game or a meal or a movie; they promise to catch her up and see everything with her again when she wakes up. Sometimes they just come in to rant, to ask her why she’d hidden for so long, and it makes her heart ache with guilt.

Minji tends to sit with her for…hours? It must be; she can’t imagine the girl managing to slip away for much longer than that. She’ll sit and talk and chatter like nothing’s wrong, and then she’ll turn sad and stroke her forehead or her hand softly.

_“Come back to us soon, alright?”_

She tries. She really does, and she feels her strength come back with every little thing they say to her. She pushes, she fights, and she’s so _close_, she’s so _close_.  


Just one last barrier to overcome, one more hurdle to surmount. She can do this. She can do this.

* * *

Strangely, it’s Bora who talks to her the least. She’s always there; Siyeon can feel her through the soulbond, but she rarely speaks. Siyeon wonders what’s stopping her. She’s resting after another failed attempt when she hears the faint, echoed footsteps that she’s learned to recognise, and she knows someone’s come to visit her. She makes herself comfortable, waiting for the voice to come.

_“Hey, Singnie,” _it says quietly, and Siyeon starts. It’s Bora. 

_“Been a while since I’ve visited, huh? I’ve been so busy lately……we’ve had a pretty tight schedule since…you know. We haven’t told the higher-ups the truth yet. We’ve just said you’re ill and recovering, and we hope to see you back on your feet soon. It’s technically not a lie?”_

The soulbond thrums in her heart, and she and Bora chuckle at the same time. 

_“We’ve told the others, though. Once we were sure you weren’t going to die on us, Minji called them. She explained everything. Everything she knew about, anyway. They’re more worried than mad, but you might want to be careful when you wake up. They’ll probably yell at you then. They’ve yelled at me already. Yoohyeon actually hit me.”_

Yoohyeon did what? Siyeon frowns at the thought.

_“Don’t be mad at her; I do deserve it, after all. I’m a big part of the reason you’re like this right now.”_

Siyeon hates the guilt she can hear in Bora’s voice; it’s _her_ fault too, and she knows how hard the older girl takes faults, knows how much she dwells on them. The soulbond thrums, and her heart aches in response.

_“I know you’ll say you forgive me; that even after everything that’s happened, even though you’ve ended up like this, you won’t blame me for any of it. That’s just the kind of person you are, Singnie. You make the best of things. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t know if I ever will. I certainly haven’t forgiven myself.”_

Guilt spikes across the bond, vast and far-reaching and almost painfully intense. Is this why Bora’s been silent for so long? How long has she been dwelling on this, beating herself up in silence? 

_“You deserve so much better than me, Singnie. If I was in your place, I don’t know that I would have been strong enough to do what you did. I like to think I would have, but I guess we’ll never know. Not that I want to know, or…god, that came out wrong.” _

She hears the faint sound of skin meeting skin, and she gets the feeling Bora’s just facepalmed.

_“Okay, come on, Bora….” _Siyeon hears a deep breath, and then Bora’s talking again. _“I’ve been keeping away for a little while, trying to sort myself out. A lot of staring into the mirror and seeing if I liked the person who looked back at me.”_

Another sigh. _“I know you wouldn’t like me thinking like this, so I made a promise to myself. It’s a simple one, almost more of a resolution, really. I’m going to be better. I’m going to make sure I can be the best person I can be while still being me. Maybe then I’ll feel worthy of you.”_

She can picture the solemn look on Bora’s face, and it feels _wrong_ to her. 

Then the older girl chuckles. _“Of course, you need to be here for that. So make sure you keep your promise, okay? Come back to us. Come back to me.”_

She’s already moving when she feels lips press faintly against her cheek, and the soulbond flares in her heart as she starts working away at the barrier again.

_I promise. I promise._

* * *

The chief stylist studies her appearance critically, narrowed eyes raking over her form. “Okay,” she says, nodding in satisfaction. “I think we’re good here.” 

Bora sighs in relief, releasing a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding, and the woman chuckles. “That eager to get away from me, huh?”

“No,” she laughs. “It’s just been a really long day.” 

It really had been, too; there was a little more than a month to go before the release date of their new album, and while they were in good shape for it, there was still a lot to be done. Before this, she’d been practicing the routines; she’d been doing that since she’d come in this morning. She feels like she has most of them down by this point—she’ll be able to help the others soon—but it hadn’t come without a cost.

Her legs have gone wobbly, and she aches _everywhere_. When she’d been called to the stylist, she’d actually been grateful to sit down and rest for a while. 

“They’ve really been working you hard. I’ve seen most of you today, and you all look like you’re about to fall over.”

“Yeah,” Bora sighs. “It’s to be expected, you know? We all want this to go well, and with Siyeon—”

She stops, and the stylist gives her a sympathetic look. “How is she? Still bedridden after all this time?”

Bora can only nod. She likes the chief stylist, she really does, but this…this isn’t something she can talk about. It’s not that they don’t trust her; the woman has stuck beside them for years now, and they all share a comfortable rapport with her. She’s not an exception to the rule. 

But Siyeon isn’t a topic she can comfortably discuss. Not when the woman in question was lying in bed, recovering from something that by all rights should have been fatal. Not when she’d been like that for weeks. Not when her _soulmate_ had been comatose for the entirety of that time.

The thoughts sweep her away, threatening to drown her in a tidal wave of guilt and worry, and she doesn’t realise how long she’s been standing still until the stylist’s soft cough interrupts her. “Sorry.”

The woman smiles gently and shakes her head. “Don’t be. Look, I think you and I are done for the day, so would you like to head back early? Management won’t mind, and if they do, I’ll talk to them.”

Bora’s legs are already moving, her earlier weakness forgotten for the moment, and she barely remembers to say a quick ‘thank you’ before she runs out of the room. 

“Give Siyeon my regards!” the chief stylist shouts, shaking her head fondly before returning to her work. She still had the rest of their outfits to finalise, after all.

* * *

Bora hadn’t expected to be given the rest of the day off, but she’s more than happy to take a little time to herself. It also means she’ll have time to fix a proper dinner for the first time in days, and she grins at the thought; she’s always liked having time to mess around in the kitchen.

Sadly, it’s a rare thing for her these days. She tends to keep the latest hours among them, and her heart warms again at the chief stylist’s gesture. She’ll have to do something nice for the woman…maybe she could bake her a cake? She hasn’t baked in a while, but she’s itching to do it again, and she knows the woman has a sweet tooth.

_Yes, that would be a decent idea,_ she thinks, and she starts making plans for what she needs as she steps outside and waves down a taxi. They’ve got most of the basic ingredients already, but the type of cake is another question in itself. Layer? Sponge? She doesn’t know, and she’s still pondering what to make when the buildings outside start to look familiar.

“Could you stop there, please?” she asks, indicating a street off to the side. The driver obeys without question, and Bora makes sure to leave a bit of a tip as she pays and steps out. She waves as she watches the taxi pull away and sighs in relief when it disappears from view. 

Their house isn’t actually part of this suburb. It's a ways back, set off to the side and tucked away into a corner. Sometimes the isolation makes it difficult, but they’ve come to enjoy the quiet and the privacy it affords them far more than the occasional travel issues it brings.

That, and Bora quite likes the walk. It gives her time to relax and think, now moreso than ever.

It’s a beautiful day, sun gleaming from amidst clear skies, wind toying gently with her hair as she walks, and something about it seems to lighten her heart. She’s smiling by the time she reaches the familiar driveway, humming a light tune to herself as she reaches for her keys.

She’s still humming when she opens the door and catches the light smell of noodles floating  through the air. It’s a nice smell, and she wonders who’s cooking as she drops her bag and sets her shoes to the side. Minji, perhaps? But she tends to not come back until evening—being the leader has its own demerits. It's more likely to be Gahyeon or Yoohyeon; the pair tend to fix themselves snacks after coming back.

Absently, she reaches for her apron and frowns when her hand doesn’t close around the expected fabric. It’s not where it usually is—who’s been silly enough to take her apron? 

It’s a mixture of hunger and curiosity that has her walking towards the kitchen.

“If you’re going to use my apron, I hope you made enough to share,” she says playfully, leaning against the doorframe and twining a strand of hair around her fingers. “Because if you haven’t, I—”

She freezes. It’s not Minji or Gahyeon or Yoohyeon. 

It’s _Siyeon_ who’s standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot of what looks like noodle soup over the stove, and the words die in her mouth as Siyeon turns. “Bora?”

“Please tell me this isn't a dream.” God, she hopes this isn’t a dream; she's not sure she can handle it if she wakes up and finds Siyeon still lying in bed. She’s missed the girl so much, the ache in her heart coming from more than just the soulbond. She’s her best friend, her closest companion, her rock…Siyeon is everything to her, and living without her has been painful in a way she’s never had to consider.

Siyeon’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t answer with words. Instead, she steps away from the stove and moves closer, and Bora barely has time to register that _yes, Siyeon’s wearing her apron_ before she finds herself being kissed.

She feels something click, feels the soulbond sing as her heart swells with something indescribable, and she can’t stop the moan that leaves her as Siyeon leans in and deepens the kiss. She feels complete again, whole in a way she hasn’t been for far too long, and she’s still riding the high of it after the kiss finally breaks.

“I thought I was dreaming too,” Siyeon says quietly. “I spent so long stuck like that, trying to wake up, but I couldn’t. I kept hearing you all, but I could never answer.”

“You’re here now,” Bora says, wrapping her in a tight hug and burying her face in her soulmate's shoulder. “That’s all that matters.”

A small smile appears on Siyeon’s face. “I—” The growl of her stomach interrupts her, and she blushes. 

Bora grins. “Eat first. You’ll need the energy for when the others get back.”

* * *

It takes her a full month to recover after waking up, and she’s still not completely back to normal; she’s still a little gaunt, still tires a little faster than she should. Sometimes her throat aches and her chest stings, but she knows they’re phantom pains, knows her Hanahaki is gone for good.

The only place it lives is in her dreams. There are nights where she wakes up gasping as the sensations of petals and thorns flood her body again. She suspects she’ll have them for some time to come.

Still, Siyeon considers herself lucky. She should be dead, but she isn’t, and she’s thankful for it every day.

Today’s something of a special day for her. She’d woken up with more energy than usual and they had a free schedule ahead of them, so she and Bora had decided to head out for lunch and then wander around the shops. She knows it’ll turn into a spree; it has before, and she knows it’s something they do a lot, but things are different this time.

It’s the first time they've been out together since their confession, and Siyeon smiles as she links hands with Bora and walks towards the mall escalator, pulling out her phone on the way. Her absence hasn’t gone unnoticed, and this would make a good moment to post.

The red light flickers on, and she grins at the camera. “Hi everyone,” she waves. “I know I’ve been sick for a while, but I’m feeling much better now~”

Strong, slender arms wrap around her, and she grunts as Bora shifts around and wraps her in a tight hug. Her red locks dominate the camera when she looks back, and Siyeon stifles a laugh at the way they look; they match far more than she'd intended, her red coat blending in far too well with the girl's hair. “I’m going out for the first time in ages today; I’m with SuA-unnie, and—”

Her chest decides to ache in that moment, phantom thorns stabbing at her, and she yelps instinctively as they step off the escalator. Bora shoots her a worried look, loosening her grasp slightly, and Siyeon makes a slight motion off-camera to indicate she’s fine.

_“Just go along with it,” _she mouths, and turns back to the camera as they start walking again.

“SuA-unnie is harassing me again with her naughty hands,” she sighs dramatically, and Bora’s shoulders shake as she tries to conceal her laughter. “Still, she’s decided to treat me to lunch, so I guess I’ll put up with it.”

She squeaks again as she feels a roaming hand and lowers the camera. Her soulmate’s eyes are gleaming with mischief when Siyeon catches her gaze, and she feels her own eyes narrow playfully.

_Two can play at that game,_ she thinks, and lifts the camera up again.

“Come say hi to the Somnies,” she says, motioning to Bora, and the girl uncurls herself from Siyeon. She feels a slight sense of loss when they break contact, but it fades instantly as Bora moves forward and leans into her side to look at the camera.

  
She’d planned to kiss Bora on the cheek and watch the girl flush, but she realises too late that the girl’s had the exact same thought, and their lips touch briefly before they break away. They’re both laughing now, cheeks flushed, and Siyeon feels the urge to kiss her again before she remembers they’re still on camera.

“I’ll see you all soon, everyone! Dream of us,” she says, shooting them a final grin and a finger heart before she stops the recording and tucks her phone away in a pocket.

Bora’s watching her in amusement. “Wanted me all to yourself, Singnie?” she grins, arms wide and mouth puckered in expectation.

“Food first,” Siyeon says, and bites her lip to hide her smile at the dumbstruck expression she receives as she walks past her and starts heading towards the food court. Bora’s whine of “Hey….” cracks her composure completely, and she starts laughing as the girl shakes her head goodnaturedly and runs to catch up.

She feels Bora's arms wrap around her again, and she smiles and leans back into the embrace as the soulbond thrums and whirls happily in her heart.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it may be late, but the promised epilogue is finally here. The lateness comes for a number of reasons, among them being the fact that I fly for uni before long, but a large part of it comes from having to plan and rework the chapter completely. Violet Daydream's been an incredible pleasure to write, and the original thousand-odd word epilogue felt like a lazy way to end it, so I've been trying to turn it into what's practically a mini-chapter of its own. There are bits of it that still stick with me a little, but I'm satisfied enough to feel comfortable putting it out there.
> 
> I hope you've all enjoyed the ride, and those who took the time to review get a special thanks from me!
> 
> I might return to this verse at some point in the future - there are a number of stories I'd like to tell in it still, and I've got a few more ideas cooking for other verses.


End file.
